


The Adventures of Joel Goran and Charlie Harris

by goldenhand9107



Category: Saving Hope (TV)
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Joel Goran centric, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 03, kind of an alternate universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-03-29 21:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19028014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenhand9107/pseuds/goldenhand9107
Summary: What if Joel had caught on to some of Charlie's weird behavior? What if he confronted Charlie about it? What would've been different if Joel knew everything about Charlie's "extracurricular activities"?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been salty that we never got to see Joel's reaction to any of the ghost stuff in the show, and there's a severe lack of fic content that's Joel centric. So, here we are. The first few scenes are my creation, and are supposed to be a lead up to the reveal. Then after that, I basically inserted Joel into ghost situations with some of the dialogue pulled straight from the corresponding episodes. It's a "what if" scenario, so I tried to use the show as a background, but I took the liberty to create some of my own scenes as well.
> 
> The first chapter is just the lead up to the reveal, which is all formulated scenes. This is my first ever published fic, so I appreciate feedback/support. Thanks <3

_Early Season 2_

Joel ran through the hallway, calling out to the people in the elevator to hold the door. Just a second too late apparently, as he went unnoticed by fellow nurses and the doors slowly shut. Joel groaned at the inconvenience, then remembered why he was running. 

“Shit!” He swore, and turned towards the stairway. 

Joel was in a hurry because he needed an extra pair of hands in his surgery; Alex got called out on an emergency with her primary patient, leaving Joel one surgeon short. He was running to find Reycraft, whom had mentioned he had no operations today and should therefore be free. Maggie has stayed behind to keep Joel’s patient stable while he went on a wild goose chase for Reycraft, who wasn’t answering any pages. 

He swung open the door to the staircase and skipped stairs running to the third level. He stopped at a landing to catch his breath, panting heavily. At the quiet moment, he heard hushed whispers above him. Joel peered up through the staircase, but couldn’t see who was talking. He resumed climbing the stairs, and turned the bend to see Charlie whispering to seemingly nobody by the wall. The other surgeon had his arms crossed and he looked incredibly worried from where Joel stood; he spoke to the air, and Joel thought for a second that the man was simply talking to himself. But it didn’t seem like that, as Charlie stared at a specific spot as he spoke, almost as if he was making eye contact with an invisible person. 

He couldn’t pick up any of what Charlie was saying. Joel furrowed his brows in confusion, and ascended the stairs cautiously.

“Uh, Charlie? You good mate?” Joel asked slowly. Charlie practically jumped upon realizing someone was watching him. 

“Joel!” He exclaimed. He cleared his throat and straightened his scrubs. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He paused for a second, examining Joel’s face. 

“What’re....” Joel trailed off, still puzzled. Charlie glanced at where Joel was gesturing, the spot where Charlie was just staring at. 

“Oh! It’s, uh, nothing. I’m just, y’know, talking to myself. I’m a little....stressed.” He replied awkwardly. Joel was about to respond, but got cut off. 

“You good? You need anything?” Charlie quickly changed the subject. Joel didn’t have time to react, as he suddenly remembered why he was in the staircase in the first place. He realized. 

“Ah, crap. Yeah, I’m looking for Reycraft. Have you seen him?” Joel questioned. 

“Yeah, he was in the observing room for OR 4 last I saw him.” Charlie pointed with his thumb towards the third floor. 

“Thanks man.” Joel added, and continued his climb up the stairs, brushing by Charlie on the landing. He quickly forgot his strange interaction with him in the staircase, and continued on with his surgery that day. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_Late Season 2_

Charlie and Joel were tag teaming on another complicated surgery. A woman had been thrown from her car in an auto accident, and had a shattered collar bone, as well as a destroyed arm which had been broken in childhood, and was currently causing difficulties for the orthopods. The two men were doing some last minute consulting in the lounge, as their patient was getting prepped for surgery. 

They were fiercely arguing about procedure, and most of the other hospital staff had left the room because of it. Charlie was standing and pacing, while Joel sat in an armchair and rattled on.

“If we delay the arm until the collarbone is finished, she’s going to loose it completely. You saw the x-ray man, we can’t leave her bone in that position for much longer. I don’t want that woman to wake up tomorrow as an amputee!” Joel shouted. 

“If we don’t do the collarbone first, it will cut into her aorta and she won’t wake up tomorrow period! The collarbone needs to be priority, Joel.” Charlie and yelled. 

“You don’t know that will happen.” He retorted. 

“Even if there’s a possibility it might, we can’t risk it. This woman has kids Joel, we can’t risk leaving them without a mother.” Charlie’s voice softened out of sympathy and worry, and he continued pacing. Joel looked at the man confused. 

“How do you know she has children?” He questioned. Charlie’s stopped walking, and glanced to his right. 

“What?” He asked. 

“How do you know she has children?” He emphasized. “She was brought in unconscious a few hours ago. We haven’t even identified her.” Joel responded. Charlie looked embarrassed and a loss for words. 

“Just a hunch.” He said dismissively. Joel’s mouth went into a confused “O” shape, as Charlie resumed pacing. 

“Look, I have a feeling that this woman would rather be an amputee than die completely. Isn’t that a given anyway?” Charlie reasoned, again looking at the same spot to his right. Joel sighed, and an intern came into the lounge calling them to operate. 

A few hours later, their patient, with both arms, was grasping her sons in a deep embrace from the hospital bed. Charlie and Joel watched with soft smiles, both full of pride and accomplishment. Joel leaned over. 

“Lucky hunch.” Joel said, and Charlie nodded, looking towards the woman. Joel watched with a mix of fascination and confusion, as he patted his friend on the back and left the room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_Early Season 3_

Joel sat in a bathroom stall, his head in his hands. Guilt. Pain. Anger. Sadness. All permeated his thoughts now, as Alex breathed through a tube in a room downstairs. Of course he blamed himself, and of course Charlie blamed him too. It was his fault, no matter what the others said. 

He hit the stall wall in anger, and aggressively wiped away his tears. He inhaled deeply, and tried to ready himself. He needed to be strong, for Alex. 

He was about to leave, when someone pushed the bathroom door open. Joel quickly sat back down on the toilet, as he didn’t know how bleary eyed he looked. He definitely didn’t want anyone to risk seeing him a wreck. 

“Jesus– where were you! You scared the living hell out of me!” Joel recognized Charlie’s voice, and waited for a response. When none came, he peered through the crack in the stall to see who Charlie was talking to. 

“No, you can’t be doing that, it doesn’t feel.....it’s an invasion of privacy.” Charlie spoke again. Joel was puzzled; he was hearing one side of a conversation. Charlie was probably on the phone. 

“Look I know this is stressful, for all parties involved, but–“ He was cut off.

“No, Alex, you can’t.” At the mention of Alex’s name, Joel abandoned all discreetness. He jumped to his feet and opened the door. If Charlie was talking to Alex, that must mean she’s okay, right?

“Alex is awake?” He asked desperately. Charlie’s eyes widened as he glanced at nothing before looking back at Joel. 

“Uh....no she isn’t.” Charlie said regretfully, tapping his fingers nervously against the basin of the sink behind him. 

“You were just talking to her. On the phone or something.” Joel half heartedly pointed at him, and he spoke with defeat. 

Charlie stuttered to get words out. “No, uh, I....”, He again glanced at the wall to his right. 

“I was just, talking to her in a spiritual way. Like, pretending I was actually talking to her. It, uh, helps, sorta.” He cleared his throat. 

“But you were having a conversation, it was like I was hearing one side. I could’ve sworn...” Joel trailed off as he sunk to the floor. Tears started falling, and his emotions took over any fear he had of Charlie seeing him this vulnerable. He shook slightly, and Charlie knelt down to Joel. 

“She’s gonna wake up.” He reassured. “No way Alex leaves us without yelling at the both of us for being at each other’s throats.” Charlie chuckled, and Joel smiled slightly. He helps the younger man off the floor, and they set out into the halls of Hope Zion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where everything culminates and Joel confronts Charlie about his weird behavior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically a version of the reveal scene we never got. This is still supposed to be mid-season 3, kind of around the time when Joel and Charlie were still angry at one another. Also, I kind of flubbed some of the doctoral procedural stuff, so if it's not actually factual or it sounds made up, oh well. Tried my best. 
> 
> Bit of a warning, this chapter could be a big triggering for some, as it mentions abuse. Please be cautious, and again, thanks for reading!

Joel stood in the corner of an ICU as Charlie talked to the sister of a patient about surgical logistics. Dawn had assigned him to help Charlie with his recent patient as punishment for how they’d been acting toward each other. Charlie was mad at Joel and Joel was defensive as all hell, and Dawn had decided that the best way for them to figure out their issues was forced time together. Joel was, obviously, thrilled.

The woman left the room, and Charlie walked over to Joel.  
“Sisters’ the only family this guys got. Frank Madden, early 20s, she said that their foster family abandoned them on the streets a few years ago; they’ve stuck together since. Bounced between jobs for a while and they recently lost all of their belongings in a house fire about two weeks ago. Guy’s been walking on a broken leg since then, and only today did she bring him in.” Charlie sighed.

“Jesus.” He looked at Charlie, who looked concerned. “What’s the problem?”  
“He lost all of his stuff, including medical history and insurance documents. Not only can they not pay for medical treatment, but the sister doesn’t know why this guy’s left femur looks like it’s already been broken and fixed about 4 times.” Charlie held up the x-ray, and sure enough, there were multiple staples, screws and other unsafe solutions to a bone that looked like it was about to shatter.

“He has a scar on his leg that looks like it’s been reopened and stitched back up repeatedly.” Joel still examined the x-ray with shock. “I can only guess that he had surgery done from the same wound multiple times to fix similar injuries.” He sounded disgusted at the thought.

“What person in their right mind would allow this? And why has he broken this one bone so many times?” Joel asked. Charlie shook his head, and the younger doctor started wandering around, thinking of solutions and explanations.

Charlie jumped, seemingly startled by something, and Joel looked over at him confused. Charlie cleared his throat and motioned toward the exit. “Excuse me for a second.” He shuffled out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Joel alone with the ICU patient.

Joel, still confused by Charlie’s weird behavior in the past few months, couldn’t resist temptation. He slowly followed Charlie out of the room, who has simply turned and gone into the empty ICU room next to theirs. Joel quietly came up to the door, and peered in through the window. Charlie was whispering, again to seemingly no one. He held his clipboard above his mouth, and anxiously conversed with the air.

Joel couldn’t hear him with the doors shut, but he watched Charlie’s reactions. He suddenly looked shocked, and lowered the clipboard. Charlie looked as if he was pitying someone, sympathetic emotions all across his face. Joel couldn’t stand the secrecy and confusion any longer. He opened the door, and went to confront Charlie, who looked over at him. His face shifted back to normal, but Joel couldn't help but notice the clenched fist by his side.

“Talking to yourself again?” Joel asked suspiciously.  
“Yeah, mmhm.” Charlie affirmed.

“Right, course. Then, how come it just looked like you were talking to someone?” He pressured. Charlie pushed his lips into a line.  
“Well...I was....” Joel watched him squirm as he searched for an answer.

“Stop, Harris. Man, that’s the third time I’ve seen you having full on conversations with air.” Joel emphasized "conversations". “I’ve seen when people talk to themselves; hell I’ll admit, I do it sometimes.” Joel looked worried now.

“But you just look like you’re hallucinating.” Joel asserted. Charlie hung his head for a moment, and Joel couldn’t help but feel sorry. It was blunt, but the truth. It really didn’t seem healthy.  
“If you don’t go out and try to get some help, I’m gonna bring Gavin to you.”  
“No, Gavin already knows.” Charlie butt in. Joel was surprised.

“He does?” He asked. Charlie nodded. Joel looked down for a second before making eye contact again.  
“Then what aren’t you telling me Charlie?” He asked, point blank. It wasn’t hard to tell when Charlie Harris was lying, but Joel didn’t have the slightest to what he could be lying about.

Charlie stared. He stared for so long it got uncomfortable. He looked down and sighed, leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.  
“Frank Madden,” He gestured with his head. “had a lovely childhood.” He said, sarcastically. “The reason the femur looks so damaged is because that’s the specific spot his foster father would beat. Right on his left thigh. He never took Frank to a hospital, just a cheap clinic with a nurse who didn’t care about procedural safety and cut into his leg on the same spot four times. He only ever went to the clinic when the bone actually broke.” Charlie held a gaze of seriousness Joel didn’t think he was capable of emoting.

“There’s probably tons of miniature fractures that you can’t even see with an unmagnified x-ray. I bet the bone broke along one of those.” Charlie looked to the ground, placing his clipboard on the desk next to him.

“How could you possibly know any of that?” Joel asked, in disbelief both at the contents of the story and Charlie’s knowledge. The older doctor sighed.  
“Because I see ghosts.” He said reluctantly, making eye contact with Joel on the last word. If the tone wasn’t so serious, Joel would’ve burst out laughing. Instead he held his feelings in.  
“Charlie, that’s–“  
“It’s not a joke Joel.” He looked almost ashamed. “How else can you explain everything I just told you?” Joel looked at him, slowly processing.

“You see....ghosts.” He repeated. “You’re insane.” His logical mind kicked in. Charlie really had lost it.  
Charlie shook his head. “I really don’t think so. I did at first but now.....” He looked over toward the wall, and Joel followed his gaze to see nothing. He looked back at Charlie, who shrugged.  
“Frank’s standing right over there.” He said quietly, and Joel continued to disbelieve him.

“Charlie, that isn’t possible. You get that right?” He held his hands up in a peacemaking stance, and Charlie rolled his eyes.  
“Joel, you asked for an explanation and this is it.” He put his hands in his pockets, and furrowed his brows. “Here, do you want me to prove it?” Joel shook his head and was about to drag the man to the nearest psychiatrist, but Charlie cut him off.

“Pull our your phone and type a sentence out on it. Then hold it out to your right.” He motioned, showing him what to do. Again, Joel was about to speak, but Charlie interrupted him. “Just, humor me.”

Joel narrowed his eyes, but slowly did what he said. He typed out the sentence “ **I’m going to drag him by the hair to the psych ward myself once he’s done with this shit** ”. He held his phone up like Charlie showed him, and Charlie looked directly to Joel’s right for a few seconds. He felt uncomfortable.

Charlie scoffed. “Wow. You said you’d drag me by my hair to a psych ward as soon as I’m done saying shit.” He paraphrased what Joel wrote, and his heart skipped a beat. He looked dumbfounded and Charlie smiled slightly. “Frank read out to me what you just wrote.” He gestured to where he was staring a second ago, and Joel, with wide eyes, looked at that spot up and down for the second time. He still saw nothing. He quickly turned back toward Charlie.

“That’s not.....” He trailed off again. “Turn around. I don’t want you to see when I finish typing.” Joel instructed. Charlie scoffed again and turned facing the wall. This time Joel typed: “ **You’re messing with me somehow, you conniving prick, and it’s not funny** ”. He held it up, and expected for Charlie to never respond. Instead the man chuckled and repeated the sentence again.

“”You’re messing with me somehow, you conniving prick”. Joel.” He turned back around. “I’m not. Trust me, I really wish I was.” He said with an annoyed tone. At that, Joel jumped away from the spot where Charlie said Frank was standing, backing up to stand by the older surgeon. He pointed at the air, finger shaking.

“Ghosts. You’re serious.” He looked over at Charlie who nodded. Joel squinted, in effort to try and see a flash of Frank, but everything in the ICU stayed the same.

“You’ve been a medium for…how long exactly?” He continued to stare at the same spot. Charlie awkwardly pointed to a different spot.  
“He moved, Joel.” Charlie added, trying to lighten the mood. Joel embarrassingly stopped staring.

“Since my coma. When I was asleep, I spent the whole time walking around this hospital. No one could see me and.....for some reason when I woke up, I remembered it. I continued to see all these......spirits.” He looked at the shocked Joel, who has since gone to sit down in the chair to process.  
“People usually forget when they wake up. I haven’t met anyone yet who’s remembered having a conversation with me when they were in a coma.” He sighed.

Joel looked lost. “So it’s just people in comas?” Charlie paused.  
“Nope. Also people who’ve died.” There was another uncomfortable silence.

“Frank here was telling me all about his femur when you came in.” Charlie mentioned, trying to change the subject. Joel wildly looked around the room, before stopping again when he remembered the embarrassment.

“That’s how you knew that woman had kids.” Joel began to put pieces together, as he thought about some of their old cases.  
“She told me she couldn’t risk leaving her sons, even if it meant losing an arm.” He said gently.  
Joel’s blood ran cold as realization dawned on him, as he thought about another unexplained experience. “Alex knows, doesn’t she.” Joel asked quietly. Charlie inhaled from guilt. He nodded. The younger surgeon looked up. “You were talking to her in the bathroom that day.” Charlie nodded again.

“I told her when Luke died. He wanted me to help her move on.” Charlie looked sad and partly ashamed, and Joel suddenly felt sorry for him.  
“That’s a lot of responsibility, mate.” Joel responded. Charlie shrugged.  
“It’s apparently what I do now, and it’s not like I can stop seeing them.” He glanced at the air, and Joel couldn’t help but think that he was looking at Frank. It felt surreal.

“So I figured–” This time, Charlie interrupted himself, and he began to get worried.  
“What is it?” Joel stood quickly.  
“Shit! Somethings’ wrong.” He rushed out of the room, Joel in tow. They got back to Frank’s ICU, but all the stats seemed normal on the machines.

“I don’t think–“  
“He said his leg feels like it’s swollen and it’s currently,” Charlie flinched. “Incredibly painful.” Joel looked puzzled.  
“There’s some loud swearing involved.” Charlie answered his confused look. Joel was still speechless.  
“Can you please quiet down a tad?” Charlie hissed, looking over his shoulder. Joel still didn’t know how to react. Instead he focused on examining Frank.

“His foot does look rather pale, maybe reduced blood flow?” Joel suggested. Charlie looked like he was listening to something Frank was saying and Joel just felt out of place.  
“He says the pain feels sharp in his thigh.” Charlie looked back to Joel, and snapped his fingers.  
“Bone shards. The actual bone may not have punctured any vessels, but bone shards from previous injuries could’ve been agitated by the break–“  
“–and gotten into blood flow which would clog it completely. This guy’s gonna loose his leg if we don’t get him in the OR right now.” All thoughts of ghosts and spirits left Joel’s mind as he switched into urgent doctor mode. He paged Reycraft, telling him to get an OR ready, and him and Charlie wheeled Frank out of the ICU.

================================

Charlie and Joel finished a 5 hour surgery with excellent results. They’d successfully removed any bone micro fragments from the blood vessels, they’d fixed up the primary break, as well as a small hairline fracture along the upper fibula, and they’d repaired all of Frank’s previous injuries to his left femur. Both of them stood outside of the OR, stripping their gloves and other surgery clothes as others closed Frank’s leg up. Joel looked over at Charlie, who was removing his mask.

“Is he here?” Joel spoke quietly. Charlie looked surprised, but glanced around. He gestured with his chin toward a chair down the hall.  
“I think he’s worried about what his sister will think.” Charlie looked back at Joel. “She never knew about the abuse.” He frowned, looking sympathetic. Joel spoke in a hushed tone.

“Well you should tell him that he should just be happy to be alive.” He said. Charlie laughed slightly, and looked at Joel weirdly.  
“You know he can hear you.” He said matter-of-factly. He raised his eyebrows, and crossed his arms at Joel. “And he doesn’t appreciate your tone.” Charlie glared jokingly at Joel, who was tossing their garments into a waste bin by the wall.

They started walking down the hallway. “Well, he’s a ghost, so his opinion is irrelevant.” Joel said to the older man, who scoffed and smiled. Joel smiled along with him.  
“You know, now that I have proof of how weird you are Harris, you’re never gonna be rid of me.” Joel commented. Charlie looked at him funny.

“Don’t you threaten me, or I’ll get someone to haunt your British ass.” Charlie responded, laughing. Joel stopped walking while Charlie continued.  
“C’mon man, you know I’m not British. I’m from New Zealand. They’re very different. Charlie!” Joel called out to him as he got left behind, and hurried to catch up. It turns out Dawn was right: all they needed to make up was a little forced time together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few more scenarios of Joel knowing about ghosts, this time featuring Alex!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two bits are basically scenes of my own creation, but they stay within reason. They're a bit melancholy, but not too much bashing on the characters; More-so just like emotional explorations that were introduced in the show and I decided to expand on. And I know these scenes kind of go against the idea that Charlie only sees spirits at the hospital, but hey, it's fine. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“You know, it’s fair to say I am a little hurt you never spilled his dirty secret.” Joel sipped from his beer bottle, as he sat at bar with Alex. Their whole group of friends from the hospital were out celebrating one of the nurse’s engagement, and Joel had stolen away to brood about being single. He sat at the bar, listening to his friends whoop and yell from the corner of the room, before Alex joined at the high chair next to him.

She ordered a cocktail and they chatted for a couple of minutes. The two of them hadn’t had conversation alone like this in a while; Joel had only talked to her one-on-one twice since finding out about Charlie, and it was never enough to get into the nitty gritty. She knew he knew, but that was about it. So now, it was nice to confide in another normal person about the weirdness that surrounded Charlie Harris. 

Alex scoffed at his comment. “Oh come one Joel, it wasn’t my secret to tell, you know that.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Still.” He took another sip. “How often does he see them exactly?” Joel had only known for about two weeks now, and since Frank, hadn’t had an interaction which involved ghosts since. Alex shrugged, as she held her drink up to her lips. 

“Every other patient from my understanding. He usually tries to keep me out of it, which is fair. It’s all a little too weird for me, the last thing I want is a ghost interfering with my surgery procedures.” She remarked. Joel nodded from understanding.

“It’s not like in the horror movies. They don’t move things around or do freaky stuff or whatever, they just….exist. And Charlie can see them. The only proof is from the stuff he tells me that he wouldn’t be able to know otherwise.” Alex took a big gulp of her drink. He squinted for a second, contemplating what to say. 

“Did he ever figure out….why him? Why is he the one that went into a coma and came out of it remembering?” Joel set his drink down, and looked directly at her. She shrugged again, putting both her hands up, bits of her drink spilling down the side of her glass with her hand movements.

“Nope. It just is him, for some reason.” She seemed sad, as she gazed on their partying friends, while Charlie stood and watched from the corner. He was laughing, and contributing to conversation every few seconds. He looked up and made eye contact with her for a second, and he smiled softly. Joel gave him a slight wave, and Charlie peered at the two of them humorously.He finished the last bit of his beer, and walked over to where Alex and Joel sat. 

“Ill have another one of these,” He quickly said to the bartender, before looking at the two surgeons and feigning being offended.

“Should my ears be burning?” He said mockingly, looking between them. They both laughed. 

“We were just discussing how incredibly strange you are Harris.” Joel clapped him on the back. 

“Oh how lovely.” Charlie said rolling his eyes. Alex put her hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s alright babe, you had to expect this.” She grinned mischievously, and Charlie planted a kiss on her lips. Joel felt mildly awkward, but not enough to where he wanted to leave. 

“Mate, the next time you see a ghost, ask them if they can like, make the lights flicker or throw a book across the room or something. Alex and I want to test a theory.” Joel knew he was slightly tipsy while he spoke, but he didn’t care, and neither did his friends. They both laughed, as he drank his beer. 

“I’ll make sure to do that next time.” He looked at the counter confused for a second. “Where is my drink? Hell, where’s the guy I asked for it?” He looked around but the man he talked to had vanished. Alex’s smile fell from her lips, and realization dawned on her. 

“Charlie, the bartender we got our drinks from was a woman.” Charlie snapped back to meet her gaze, and he suddenly looked worried. Joel had also realized what was going on, and he stood up slowly, wildly looking around the bar for a glimpse of the ghost. 

As if on cue, the female bartender Joel ordered his beer from walked out from a door behind the counter. She caught all three of their stares on her.

“Sorry, had to grab a bathroom break. Can I get you folks something?” They all stared at her, mouths pressed into thin lines. Charlie looked down to the floor, and Joel cleared his throat. 

“Just another one for him please.” He said gesturing to Charlie. “Oh, and was there another bartender working here a few minutes ago?” He asked. She looked confused. 

“No, my shifts’ been going on for a few hours. Doesn’t end for another half hour either.” She responded cautiously. “Why, was someone back here?” 

“No, no. We were just wondering.” Joel smiled, and she furrowed her brows at him before serving another person. 

Charlie had his jaw tightened. Alex had stood from her chair as well, and put a hand on his chest. The man looked up at her sadly, but Joel quickly noticed that he has ceased making eye contact with her. He was looking straight behind her, at a spot on the wall. Alex caught this too, and saw nobody when she turned around to check. Charlie angrily inhaled through his nose, and left the bar in a rush, Alex and Joel following.

“Charlie!” She called after him, as he paced on the sidewalk, his head hung in his hands. He grunted angrily. 

“I still can’t tell them apart Alex. I still can’t recognize them even if they’re right in front of me.” He sounded dryly mad, his voice shaking with sadness and anger. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She reached up to stroke his arm, but he fiercely removed his head from his hands and stared directly at a spot. Alex rescinded her hand, as he stomped forward and pointed aggressively at air. 

“I don’t care! This is not my problem to fix! You need to leave.” He yelled. Joel pitied him, and rushed behind his friend to get him to stop. 

“Not here Charlie.” He grabbed his arm, and spun the surgeon around. Charlie’s eyes were moist. 

“How the hell am I supposed to track down the guys that robbed his bar and shot him in the chest? How can I help him get closure from _that_?” He asked wildly, gesturing to where Joel presumed the ghost was. 

“Charlie. You don’t have a responsibility to help them all.” Alex stepped forward and tried to calm him down. He was breathing in and out heavily. “I know it’s hard, but even the fact that you help some of them is amazing.” Her voice was soft, and Joel saw tears fall from Charlie’s eyes. He chimed in.

“Remember how we helped Frank?” He tried to sound confident in this situation, but he doubted his efforts came through. 

“And how you helped Luke? And me, when I was in a coma?” She added. Charlie looked down with shame. 

“I know you’re frustrated. But Charlie. You’re a good man. You’re better than that, you’re a great man. You’ve helped so many people.” She slowly walked towards him. “And I love you for that.” She put both her hands on his face. He closed his eyes.

“And I love you for it too. Well, maybe not in the same way that she meant it.” Joel joked, trying to inject some humor into the situation; it worked, as both Alex and Charlie chuckled. He walked up to him, and pat him on the shoulder.

“Let’s go get another drink, shall we?” Joel proposed. They both nodded, and all three walked back into the bar. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Post 3x10_

The holding cell was freezing. Joel was sat on the bench, the metal hand cuffs digging into his wrists behind his back. A raggedy man slept next to him, and Joel painstakingly listened to his loud and disgusting snores. He kept his head hung from shame. 

The door to the holding cell area swung open and a cop, followed by Alex and Charlie, walked in. Alex still wore her scrubs under her jacket and Charlie’s clothes look wrinkled and disheveled; probably the clothes he keeps at the hospital for when there’s no time to run home. They both look incredibly concerned. 

“Joel. Are you okay?” Alex grasped the metal bars and peered over at him. Charlie stood stoically behind her. Joel sighed and walked over to the bars with a blank look on his face. He looked back and forth between the two of them, before settling on Charlie. 

“Was he there?” He questioned. Charlie looked confused.

“Was...who....where?” Charlie walked closer to the cell. 

“Brad. Did you see him? At the hospital? After he died?” Joel asked, not taking care to watch his volume. Charlie suddenly felt awkward and looked around to see if any of the other inmates had taken notice of the conversation but everyone was either asleep or not paying attention. Alex had looked over at him and was giving him a look that implied she was asking the same question as Joel. 

“Uhm, no. I-uh...I didn’t see him.” Charlie paused and considered if he should say sorry, as he didn’t know if it would make Joel feel better or worse. Joel held his gaze, eyes remaining unmoving. 

“Is he here now? Is he still pissed at me for screwing his wife?” Joel spat scornfully. Alex inhaled and reached through the bars to try and calm Joel, but he shuffled out of her way, so she quickly retracted her hand. 

Joel’s facial expression remained scarily neutral. Charlie felt uneasy, and Alex was just worried about him. He slowly walked up to the bars again, to get closer to Charlie. He had not once made eye contact with Alex. 

“No Joel, I....I don’t think I’m going to see him.” Charlie said. It still felt awkward discussing this openly with him. Joel squinted slightly. 

“Okay. But if you do. Tell that abusive prick that I’m not sorry.” He said harshly before quickly returning to his sitting position in the cell. Alex looked shocked at how uncharacteristically heartless Joel was being. She was close to scolding him for doing so, but stopped herself when she saw tears coming out of his eyes. Joel was overwhelmed with grief and fear. This was just his current way of expressing it.

She looked over at Charlie, who had a knowing stare on his face. He was definitely seeing a ghost, one who was apparently standing right next to Joel by the direction of his gaze.

“Charlie?” She asked softly. He blinked and looked toward her. 

“Should I tell him?” He gestured to Joel with his head. “Should I tell him that Brad is angry, but he understands?” He said sadly. Alex inhaled and looked back over at the pitiful Joel. 

“Later.” She addressed Charlie. “Tell him later.” The surgeon had placed a hand on his shoulder, and he reached up to hold it. They slowly turned to leave the holding cell room, while Joel continued to cry on his own, over the one mistake he couldn’t take back. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The times where Joel knew the details of Charlie's weird behavior, and decided to tag along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, we get to the original scenes. It's pretty self-explanatory, what if Joel knew about ghosts in some of Charlie's doctor scenarios and instead of walking away, chooses to involve himself. It's pretty short, and some of the stuff is pretty small, like a quick look or a line of dialogue, but honestly, writing these scenes with just the tiny little tweaks to make it so Joel is "in" on everything makes me so happy. These is meant to be a continuation from the past three chapters, but you can take it on your own, with the details of how Joel found out being something completely different. 
> 
> I pulled the scripts and watched clips from the episode while writing these scenes, and I found reading them in conjunction with the corresponding episode is pretty fun; I do recommend it. I put the episode titles at the beginning of each break to make it more convenient. Also if I got something wrong in terms of episode canon, I apologize. Hope y'all enjoy this!

_Episode: "Hearts of Glass"_  


Joel and Charlie’s leg lengthening surgery was the first one they’d worked on together since Joel got back. It was interesting, to say the least, at how much pain one guy would put himself through just to live up to his family expectations. They’d just finished their surgery, and were walking down the hall, discussing this poor man’s future. 

“So how do you think he’s gonna take it?” Charlie asked, as he readjusted his watch. 

“Well six months he had those on, and all for nothing, man.” Joel was annoyed. He felt guilty at how desperate the guy was but still; no one should do that to themselves. 

“Well, maybe not…..nothing.” Charlie added. 

“What do we say to him?” Joel put his hand on his head. “I mean, if I say this experience made him taller on the inside?” He cringed and groaned. “Ugh, that’s not gonna fly.” 

Charlie almost laughed, before stopping dead in his tracks, losing his slight smile. 

“Anyway, thank…..” Joel stopped when he saw his friend’s face. He squinted. Charlie had his mouth slightly open in confusion, and Joel glanced around to see what he was looking at.

He raised an eyebrow at Charlie, who pressed his lips into a line. The gears slowly turned in Joel's head, before he held his mouth in a "O" shape. Ghost. Obviously. 

"Well?" Joel questioned. Charlie stood silent for a moment.

“She’s looking for her daughter. You go on and talk to leg guy, I’ll handle this.” He said awkwardly. Joel was torn between assisting his friend and subjecting himself to whatever bull their patient was gonna throw at him.

“Mmmm, patient can wait a second. He’s probably not even awake yet, so I’d just be sitting around anyway.” He walked back to stand next to Charlie, putting his hands in his pockets. 

“So how do we find her daughter?” He asked. Charlie inhaled, and gave him an expression that said “what the hell.” 

“Let’s walk.” He headed down the hall with Joel, who could only presume the ghost was following with them. 

================================

“Uhm, how’d you die?” Charlie rubbed his ear, slyly looking to his left. Joel watched from his right. 

“Okay, she said she was in line for a heart transplant but things didn’t go as planned.” Charlie looked over at Joel. "Do you recognize that patient...." He trailed off when he saw Joel's face, which held a sudden look of pity and sadness. He stopped in his tracks as he realized.

“Oh god. That’s Dawn’s patient, the foster mother.” He inhaled, remembering the name Dawn had mentioned in passing conversation. “Giselle, that’s her daughter she’s been talking about. It’s down this way.” Joel pointed in the directions of the OR and they walked down the hall. 

There was a pause and Charlie, looking a little disgruntled, spoke along his shoulder. 

“I lost my parents too. I survived.” Charlie seemed to be making direct eye contact now. Joel slowed his step to give their conversation a little privacy, but not so far he couldn’t hear. 

Charlie spoke again. “Uh, no. No. Not…….not yet.” He paused and shot a glance at Joel behind them. He couldn’t help but wonder what the ghost said. It felt strange hearing one side of a conversation. Like he was watching someone on the phone, where, because he lacked the context, any sort of gossip could be happening between Charlie and this mother. Charlie's side eye towards him made Joel a little self-concious; how often would Charlie have secret conversations about others with the one type of person who could never tell?

They turned another corner, and Joel saw Dawn having a quiet conversation with a young girl. He joined Charlie again, and pointed. 

“Is that her daughter?” He asked. Charlie glanced to his left, and nodded slightly. They watched at the young girl argued with Dawn loudly; Joel’s heart tightened at the mention of adoption. 

Charlie looked sorrowful, and they continued to watch as Dawn embraced Giselle. He suddenly turned to his left, and surveyed the area as if he was looking for something. Joel turned towards the surgeon, who deeply sighed. 

“She’s gone.” He addressed Joel now. They both looked down in sadness, and maybe a bit of mourning as they watched Dawn and Giselle hug for what seemed like hours. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ Episode: "Narrow Margin"_

Charlie and Joel had their usual routine of quickly conversing while walking through the hospital hallways. Charlie had mentioned Sou, one of Selina’s patients from the clinic. He vaguely remembered her, and when they opened the curtain to see a tiny Cambodian woman, Joel immediately thought back to this woman’s refusal to speak. The teeth thing Charlie had mentioned was worrying, but Joel had no reason to have low hopes at the moment. 

“Hi Sou.” He walked over and put a hand on the woman’s back. “What’s happening? You want me to help you? You wanna take a seat up here for me?” Joel helped her onto the bench, while Charlie pulled out the patient records. 

“That’s it, sweetheart.” He accepted the light Charlie offered and began to inspect the woman’s mouth. 

“Okay, just tilt your head back for me.” His eyebrows shot up at seeing the giant mass on the roof of Sou’s mouth. 

“Charlie, you need to take a look at this.” He handed the light to the other surgeon who performed the same procedure. Joel rubbed his face and began to work through possible explanations. 

“Ohhhh yeah, that’s uh..” Charlie squinted.

“Yeah. How long has it been like this, Sou? How long have you had this?” He gestured to his own mouth but the woman still didn’t speak. Charlie put the light back in his shirt pocket, as Joel looked for words to help her understand. 

“Uh, we–we’re gonna have to admit you to the hospital right away.” He looked at her endearingly. 

“Sou, where is your friend, the, um, uh…” Charlie gave up on asking the woman for any information. 

“What’s that, mate?” Joel questioned, as he continued to watch Sou clutch her mouth, longing for her to understand what they were trying to say to her. 

“Uh, nothing.” Charlie turned to find the ER doctor. “Hey, Zach, where's the girl who came in with Sou?” Joel listened in, as he grabbed some more cotton for her mouth. 

“I have no idea. She came in here alone.” Zach responded. Charlie slowly processed, and Joel had now looked up at Charlie. The older man turned around and gave Joel a knowing look. Joel sighed and continued to patch the inside of Sou’s mouth.

================================

Once the woman had gotten dressed and into a bed, the two orthropods briefed her on the nature of her tumor. While silent, she did seem to be absorbing everything they were saying, which was honestly a big step forward compared to earlier. 

“Okay, is there anyone we can contact for you?” Charlie asked. Sou didn’t say anything.

“Samnang?” Charlie questioned. Joel looked confused. 

“Excuse me, what?” He said quickly. 

“Samnang. Samnang?” Charlie asked Sou. “Your, uh, your son?” Charlie asked again. Joel uncrossed his arms and had a hunch about what was currently happening. He glanced around the room, like he always did, but still never saw any glimpse of the ghost. He looked at his friend incredulously, and slyly rolled his eyes.

“His name is Samnang.” Charlie finished. Sou nodded, and Joel smiled slightly. No other way Charlie could’ve known that unless there was a spirit in the room giving him information. 

“Okay. Well, we’ll do our best to get ahold of him.” Joel had his arms crossed again, and was looking at Charlie with an accusatory look. Charlie side-eyed him, and cleared his throat, confirming what Joel already knew. Charlie left the room, Joel in tow. 

“Well, you can’t win them all.” Charlie said in a feeble attempt to get Joel’s mind off the ghost. 

“I’m assuming–“ Joel started but Charlie cut him off. 

“You’re assuming correctly, I found the son’s name on the admissions form.” Charlie shut him down, looking around suspiciously, and Joel laughed at how incessant Charlie was to not say the word “ghost” out loud. He knew he was going to get an explanation out of him later, but for now, his phone buzzed, and a call from his lawyer took his mind off ghosts. 

“Catch you later.” He walked off, leaving Charlie and his ghosts to their own devices. 

================================

Joel received newfound confidence in Zach’s revelation, and he dashed around the hospital looking for Charlie. When he couldn’t find him he asked a nurse, who said she saw him heading downstairs. 

“Do you want me to page him Dr. Goran?” She asked.

“No, I think I know where he is.” He ran to the elevator, and pushed the down button. 

He found Charlie in the morgue, staring across the metal bench. He slowed his pace, not wanting to interrupt any private conversation he could be having. He pushed the swinging doors open, softly clearing his throat, and Charlie adjusted to seem casual. 

“Hey man,” He crossed his arms. “How–How’d you know I was down here?” He rubbed the back of his head. 

“Alex told me this was your spot.” He approached the bench, looking around out of habit. 

“Who is it?” He asked. Charlie hung his head slightly, before making eye contact with Joel. 

“Her sister. She’s been dead for over forty years.” He said slowly. Joel’s eyes widened.

“Forty years?” He exclaimed. “How is that possible?” Joel asked. Charlie stayed quiet. 

“It’s, uh…it’s a lot Joel. I can tell you about it later.” He fidgeted with his fingers. “What did you want to come tell me about?” Charlie asked. Joel readjusted himself, noticing the change in subject but not objecting. 

“Zach gave me an idea for how we might be able to remove the tumor.” His mood suddenly lightened at the thought. Charlie had a similar reaction. 

“How?”

“Walk with me, and I’ll tell you.” He pushed the door open for Charlie to walk through. Before leaving the morgue completely, he looked back around the room. 

“Don’t worry. We’re gonna try and save your sister.” It felt weird speaking to an empty room, and he had no way of knowing if the ghost was actually still there. He'd always considered trying to talk to them when he had confirmation they were nearby from Charlie. However, he'd never had the guts to, it all felt far too "bad ouija movie" for him to aimlessly talk to a spirit that he knew he'd never get a response out of. But regardless, Joel had a new sense of confidence, and he followed Charlie to tell him the plan. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end to Joel's story, but with more conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, at the end we've all been waiting for (there's no "we" here, it's fine). I rewrote Joel's death here, but within my universe, so all the experiences from the past 4 chapters have happened and he dies knowing about ghosts etc. Again, most of the lead up and the circumstance of his death are the same, I just added some more dialogue with Charlie but kept the sentiment of his last words the same. I honestly love how they handled his death in the show, I just really would've liked to see some more Charlie and Joel interaction. So that's what this chapter is. 
> 
> This is the last chapter in this fic. I appreciate the kudos I've gotten throughout, and as always, thank you for reading!

Joel knew. He knew the second he looked across the field and saw the eerie vision of a white, saddle-less horse gallop by. He had one last moment, where he looked Zach in the eyes, before his stomach lurched from anticipation. A split second of blinding light and sound, and then everything went black. 

The bomb went off. Of course it did. The whole situation was too volatile to go smoothly, something _had_ to go wrong. But....he never pictured that it’d end like this. 

When Joel regained his vision, everything seemed to move in slow motion. His hearing was toned down, as if he was listening to the events around him from a separate room. He could see clearly, but he felt different. He couldn’t quite put his finger on how. He felt as if his physical tether to life was severed, like even though he was standing two feet on the ground, he was floating, drifting in the air.

People were racing back and forth. There was dirt dusting through the air, panicked yelling and screaming. The soldiers were barking orders, and Joel smelt a tinge of burning. He continued to scan the area with a sense of neutrality, when his eyes landed on his friend. Zach had a look on his face that could only be described at pure and utter shock. He looked frozen in time, unmoving, but still trembling from processing what had just happened. What had just happened? Joel couldn’t quite figure it out. 

But soon it hit him, like a ton of bricks falling from the sky. A fact he already knew to be true, one that he had subconsciously figured out, but wasn’t ready to accept. That fact came rushing forward, and was now the thought at the front of his mind. 

Joel was dead. He had died in an explosion. 

He should be more shocked. He should be panicking like everyone else, stumbling from acceptance, hyperventilating from the sheer strangeness. But he wasn’t. He felt….content. Not sad, or freaked out, but merely indifferent. Maybe he just wasn’t processing everything yet, but that was all that ran through his head at this moment. 

Time managed to move slowly and irrationally at the same time. He felt sluggishly weighed down when he watched the chaos at the field, but a blink and he was back at the hospital. He knew he had come here, but he couldn’t quite figure out….how. Zach was here already, so maybe he’d followed him? 

At the hospital, he felt at home. It was what he was best at, his work, his passion, his life. He was still wearing the scrubs from earlier. He aimlessly followed Zach around, already accustomed to the idea that no one could see him. He didn’t call out or yell for attention, he just watched the doctors and nurses work, in awe at the spectacular feat that medicine was. 

Joel got distracted. He lost sight of Zach to go and find some of his patients, ones he’d never get to speak to again. Time felt meaningless; he could watch for long periods of time with no one acknowledging his presence or battering him for assistance in a surgery. It was peaceful, this type of spectating, but at the same time he missed it. He sadly watched from the observing room a surgeon he’d never met fix a broken arm, longing to participate once more. It was the most conflicted Joel had ever felt. He couldn’t decide if he should revel in the serenity or surrender to the ache he had to get back to the action. 

But when a familiar face stepped into the operation room, mask held up over her mouth, any sense of content left him. Maggie had stepped in to offer some help on the procedure, but the surgeon insisted she go and take a few hours. Joel didn’t miss the shake in Maggie’s voice when she spoke, or the tear stains on her cheeks. He felt overwhelmed with sadness and followed Maggie back to the room she came from. 

It was here he saw Alex. Her face flush with the aftermath of crying, hair still beautiful despite everything. Joel was sad, but he didn’t cry. He wanted to embrace her, to hug the baby she cradled in her arms, no matter who’s it was. He approached her, with a gentle sense of sorrowful longing. He felt desolate, but not defeated. It was merely the end of their story. He leaned down and planted a kiss on Alex’s head. It was a strange sensation, knowing he was touching her but she couldn’t feel it. He wanted her to feel it, to acknowledge that he was trying to say goodbye. But he couldn’t; there was a distance between them, one that could never be bridged. Death was an impossible chasm to traverse. However, there was one man who could see across to the other side.

He turned to leave and was confronted by Charlie. Joel had been thinking about this moment his whole journey back to Alex; what’d it would be like to be on of his friends ghosts instead of the clueless watcher. Charlie looked mournful, but he also seemed to pity Joel. He understood that the limbo Joel was in now was more painful than death ever could be. To exist without existing, invisible to everyone. But Joel didn’t feel that pain; not just because he knew Charlie could see him. But because he knew Charlie would care for Alex even after he left. 

Charlie sighed, and subtly gestured with his head to a room down the hall. Joel smiled the slightest bit, before turning back to look at Alex. She had slowly turned to look at Charlie, who gave the most sorrowful thumbs up Joel had ever seen. She inhaled deeply, tears falling from her eyes once more. Joel understood, and knew that this knowledge, knowing that Alex was aware that he was trying to say goodbye to her would console him. When he went off to wherever he was going off to, that singular piece of fact would warm his heart.

Joel followed Charlie into an empty patient room. The older surgeon shut the door behind them, and gently rolled the shades shut. He hung his head for a moment and looked over at his friend. Joel couldn’t help but smile.

“Harris, you never told me that ghost's footsteps were silent. You know how disorienting that is?” Joel joked, hands in his pockets, slightly pacing around the room. Charlie choked out a pained, but genuine laugh. He sighed. 

“Trust me, I got used to it.” He said. Charlie looked at the younger man sadly. 

“Joel, I’m….I am so sorry.” He looked at him seriously, water poking at the edges of his eyes. Joel continued to smile softly. 

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m….I’m not sad. I’m more…..” He trailed off, swiping his hand by a paper cup on the table in a feeble attempt to move it; It didn’t budge, and his hand seemed to have gone right through it. He chuckled slightly. 

“Tranquil.” He finished his sentence, looking up at Charlie. The older man seemed confused.

“Joel, most of the ghosts I talk to only stay here because something is keeping them here….I usually help them work through that.” He slowly explained. “What's keeping you here?” 

Joel sighed, still holding his slight smile. “I am.” He leaned against the hospital bed. “I’m keeping myself here.” He folded his arms. Charlie was about to say something, but Joel continued talking. 

“I wanted to see Alex. One last time. I wanted to see the baby, no matter if it’s mine or yours, I just wanted to see him.” Joel finally lost his pleasant expression, speaking more seriously. 

“I needed to know that they were okay. And now I know they are.” He made eye contact with Charlie. “Because you’re here.” Joel’s eyes softened as he looked at his friend. He stood up and walked towards him. 

“She loves you man. She loves you more than she ever did me.” He sounded somber as he admitted that. “But, I know you love her back just as much. And that's enough.” He pressed his lips into a smile, one that was full of pain and acceptance. Charlie still was at a loss for words. 

“Joel….” He didn’t know what to say. 

“Charlie, you are one of the strangest men I’ve ever met. The fact that we’re having this conversation is proof enough of that.” Joel stepped backwards as he spoke, smiling once more. 

“But you’re also the most honorable. I trust you, mate. I trust you, to take care of them.” Joel spoke with meaning, slowing his speech. This was the final chapter of his story, and his relationship with Alex, but Charlie was here. Charlie would make sure that she would be happy. 

He placed his hands in his pockets, the familiar brush of the scrubs fabric comforting him. He felt weightless, and full of energy. He never broke his eye contact with the mournful Charlie, who no longer looked confused but rather confident. Joel could tell that he was going to stand by Alex for as long as he could, as if he was upholding a promise. He watched tears fall from his friend’s eyes. 

He felt himself letting go. The grip he had on the physical world was loosening, as he was slowly being dragged away by a cosmic unknown force. He thought about saying something dramatic as he was fading, some meaningful last words for Charlie to mull over for the rest of his life. But instead he just widened his soft grin. It wasn’t one of happiness but rather a welcoming smile, one of embrace of his story’s end. Everything was going to be okay. He winked at his friend, and light seemed to shine brighter. Joel was whisked away into the beyond, leaving Charlie alone in astagnant hospital room, one that was arguable more sullen in Joel’s absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I started crying as I was writing that ending. Oh boy.


End file.
